BUILDING YOUR OWN LIFE
Lloyd Thomas, Ph.D.


 

Once you become an adult, you become responsible for building your own life.  You may not cause everything that happens to you, but you are 100 percent responsible for how you respond to the events in your life.  And it is those chosen responses, when repeated, that become habits.  It's your thinking habits, your emotional habits, your behavioural habits that are the material out of which you build a life.

I once heard a story of an elderly carpenter who was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business.  He wanted to live a more leisurely life with his wife and spend more time enjoying his extended family.  He would miss the pay but he needed to retire.  He and his wife would get by.

The contractor was sorry to see this good worker go, and asked if he would build just one more house as a personal favour. The carpenter said "yes," but in time it became obvious that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work, the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you." The carpenter was shocked! What a shame!  If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then, with a shock, we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we'd do it much differently. But we cannot go back.

You are the carpenter of your own life.  The nature and quality of your life is made of those choices you make.  Some of those choices are unconscious, some are conscious.  Some are made out of outdated habits.  Someone once said, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." Your attitudes and the choices you make today, create the "house" you live in tomorrow.  I invite you to build wisely from conscious choice!

The blueprint for a great life would include: developing a positive self-image; create an accurate belief system; develop your character; discover your life purpose; establish a value system congruent with your life purpose; master your mental life; develop and become aware of your "inner life;" practice effective goal-setting; envision and write down your desired outcomes; generate a network of high-quality relationships; accurately assess your current life; write out a plan for action(s); implement the plan; persist in  carrying out your plan; never give up on your dreams; never stop learning; never, never, never quit pursuing your desired outcomes.

If you can't remember all the notions in the above paragraph, here are four that characterize the attitude of a master life-carpenter:


work like you don't need the money

love like you've never been hurt

dance like nobody is watching

persevere as if nobody cared